Matt's Blog: How to be Awesome: Chapter 5 - Breasts are the Best!

This is the fifth entry of Matt's Blog, written by Elias Rex main character Matt. It was retrieved from Matt's Site here.

How to be Awesome: Chapter 5 - Breasts are the Best!
Bros, as my latest review is talking about boobs, let me tell ya' what do to do to get a search for them. Only real Bros are proud to google boobs, and are proud to read this blog post. So, let's start by watching some videos of boobs bouncing and start!

== How to be Awesome: Chapter 5: Breasts are the Best == Theory

The Boob Theory: The Boob Theory suggests that although no matter how tiny, small, medium, average, big, large, huge or whatever size boobs are, you will always love them, you would like to masturbate to them (I don't do that actually).

So, firstly I'd like to state on how this theory also stated that during anything involved with boobs, so everything, has to have a particular number, suggesting you need a number of the following:

Squeezes (min. 3 - max. 83) Motorboats (min. 2 - max. 47) Touches (min. 78 - max. 83+ quadrillion) Shakes (min. 9 - max. 54)

The Boob Theory may also give us the particular reason on math. Oddly enough, more men choose to touch only 2 boobs a day, while actual, awesome Bros can touch up to 80) Probably the best one is squeezing the boob, which I'd never plan...

Rumors

Rumor 1: A rumor is spreading around like wild fire, which speaks on how if the man is able to grab someones boob and grope their ass at the same time, the boobs will immediately get smaller, and the woman will have to get breasts reduction. This rumor sounds so awesome and real that I believe you Bros should state as a legend!

Rumor 2: The color violet is believed by many as "the color of boobs", because violet, blue and red are constantly featured in strip clubs (I see that in many video games) So color violet helps us increase our turn ons on boobs. So this is also an awesome legend. Note to the creator of the rumor: This rumor really is true.

Rumor 3: On Wikia, if your achievement images have boobs on them, that gives you more turn ons by many women. So, this rumor also speaks on how to upgrade your social media statuses! But boobs are always great, no matter what. Legendary!

Legends

Legends speak on how the Homo erectus (indeed) had a very large chance of seeing boobs. The thing is here, back then in the ancient age, . So because of that, the men would be able to view a woman's breasts, and it won't mind her. This era and age looked so awesome. Why isn't youth forever?

Another legend says that when boobs were first seen by men on magazines, TV and other various sources of media, they quickly had the favor for sex. That's why there it says that you can start having sex with even 14! However, do not have sex before 13 or before 14. Ok? That's a terrible thing to do, that's why I didn't do it! A win!

Why are legends legendary again? A great man once said: "All things in moderation." Obviously he wasn't referring to money, sex or snack foods, but was referring to how awesome we will become in a few ages, eras and years. Ok, so first of all, each and every situation or room you are in, makes you think of boobs.

Think about it! Boobs everywhere: Magazines, logos, moderation, bathtubs, on Google Images! On websites, blogs, advertisements so much more! So boobs, and boobs are great. So my dearest Bros, boobs are boobs and boobs are fantastic! This legend was told and spoken by me, myself.